Finding ONEderland

Last couple of days have been really busy ones for me. I have spend a good deal of time working on cleaning my office and getting it more workout ready since my exercise stuff is in this room also. It's taken so much time because I am also going through my clutter and tossing stuff left and right. Tomorrow should be calmer day....least not a lot of driving and errand running.

I got some shopping done today and hit the book store to get some stuff to read. I got the You on a Diet, Preventions Healthy Woman, The Weight-loss Diaries and A Patient's Guide to PCOS plus a three health magazines.

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year!

Posted by Annie at 10:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I can already tell a difference in how I feel from the exercising. I was able to get a couple of hours house work done tonight before I ran out of steam. Part of that was doing some stuff in the kitchen to help make it more "friendly" for my cooking at home.

I have a three day weekend for the second week in a row. It's really nice as this is the first year I have been able to get holidays off like this. So since tomorrow is suppose to be warm, 63 degrees for the high, I am planning on getting a walk in the outdoors.

Posted by Annie at 11:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I got back to Curves yesterday and got in a real good workout. My muscles let me know that I had not been there for a while. I felt much better today because of getting that work out in. Tonight I got in a session of dancing, once again really feeling it all through my body. Going to take time to work back up to where I was but the good thing is I enjoy doing it and especially how it makes me feel after wards.

I tried a couple things today. One was ribs from a local place, I had the points for it but wish I had gone for something else cause the amount of fat in it made me feel ill. I am not use to eating stuff like that anymore and would have been much happier with some salmon. Looking at it, that is a good thing, means that my taste preference is for much better for me stuff. The other thing I tried was the new Special K chocolately delight....one word YUCK! The flakes were okay but the chocolate chip things were waxy and once I ate the few in the bottom of the bowl my mouth had this oily feeling so I took a drink of ice water and the stuff literally turned to wax and harden up in my mouth. It was so gross.

Posted by Annie at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

You know I just don't buy vanity as a sin. In fact I think it is good for the soul. There is nothing wrong about taking pride in how you look and admiring yourself. Now yes it can be over done and anything done in excess can be bad for you. Growing up I was not taught to worry about what I looked like. My father believed that wearing make up was not something good girls did. Of course my thoughts on this was he was too old fashion and just a bit weird about the whole thing. I personally don't think I look put together without my make up. However that didn't stop me from not wearing any for a very long time. In fact till recently I was missing my own vanity. Depression can do that to you. But I have found that I feel so much better when I take the time to do my makeup, fix my hair and work on picking out what to wear. Good thing...think my co-workers might have signed me up to spend some time with Stacy and Clinton at some point.

So lately I have spent more money on makeup, hair products and especially jewelry. I love wearing nice stuff. I like how I look and that is very important to me. It's no wonder that I now feel like I can actually start to take this weight off again. It's all in how we feel and believe in ourselves.

Growing up poor I never got to buy new clothes. I had hand me downs all the time. Always very out of fashion. And even though some of the lessons it taught me were good ones, there are also bad things that I have to work to over come. Like not spending money on myself for nice things. It's been something I have had to work hard to get over. Like not buying the cheapest clothes I can find even though they don't look good on me. It's no wonder I hated shopping so much most of my life. It's not like I am spending huge amounts for clothes and stuff now. I am not rich by a long shot, however I can afford to get nice looking stuff when I find it on sale or just being a little picky and getting stuff that is a few dollars higher. My problem for a long time was realizing I am worth it. It's the same thing with loosing the weight. I have had to realize I am worth it. Watching portions and calories is worth it. Exercising it very much worth it for how it makes me feel. It's all about taking care of myself in all the ways that I can.

Today I have my gym bag packed so I can work out at Curves. I got to get those steps up on the pedometer you know. And when i look in the mirror I smile because I like who I am and I am very much worth all the effort.

Posted by Annie at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I had a wonderful Christmas. I was blessed to be able to spend Christmas day with my husband's family. His sister was able to make it in for Christmas which was great. This is her first year away from home, she's going to med school. I miss her a lot so it means a great deal that she was able to come in for the holidays.

I treated myself to a couple of health related gifts for the holiday....the WW points calculator and the pedometer. The pedometer is my favorite of the two. I have been wearing it each day since I got it Saturday. It's let me know just how much I really need to work on moving around. I average around 2000 steps a day....least over the weekend...we'll see how it goes now that I am back at work. The only day that it got to 5000 was the day I went grocery shopping. Will be interesting to see if it goes up much on a work day. So far today I am at 2117, not sure how good that is for a sitting job. I do know it's a long way from the 10,000 they say to get a day.

I indulged a little as far as portions go but mostly it was healthy food. Today I have right back eating healthy and with portion control....lots of fruits and veggies. I ran off and forgot my food journal so I have been writing down what I ate on a post-it note till I get home.

I hope everyone else had a very Merry Christmas too.

Posted by Annie at 02:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I think I have done remarkably well with the holidays with having lost both parents in the last couple of years, my father having passed in February. I have enjoyed so much of the season...hot chocolate while looking at the lights, Christmas carols, decorating and the shopping too (which I was so proud to have got done over a week before Christmas even with being sick so many times). But I did face some depression last night over some family matters and I gave in and just ate what I wanted. However today I grabbed out my journal...wrote it ALL down, figured up the points and moved on. I used 18 WPAs last night but that is okay...that is what they are for and I moved on to eat the way I should today and not just keep stuffing myself to cover my misery. I talked to a couple friends about what was eating me and helped to alleviate that some. And the cupcakes that were sitting by the coffee pot at work this morning are still there. I didn't touch a one. I figured up the points if I wanted one but after getting some stuff off my chest I haven't felt the need for them. I think that is sucess...after a fall I got back up.

Posted by Annie at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I managed to make it to my WW meeting and get the new books. I now have to get 3 milks in each day and I gained one point with the "new" way of figuring the points target. Good thing I like milk. I like the new bag because it has a handle and makes it easier to carry. I however don't care so much about the new 3 month journal...it doesn't give a lot of writing room for someone who gets 32 points per day. Oh and I lost 5.5 pounds but then I was sick and wasn't like I worked to get it...plus I figure some may come back now that I am feeling better.

I got all my holiday shopping done and I am very happy about that. I however haven't got my holiday letter sent out. *sigh* The last month has been so rough with being sick so many times. I should be happy I got as much done as I did.

I have been trying to figure out way to try and not get as sick. I had already added a couple of plants to my office and have several in my house because they are suppose to be such a good filter. I wash my hands so much that I have to use lotion all the time. I take a multi vitamin each day. Not sure what else I could do to keep healthier....well other than loosing weight and I am working on that.

Posted by Annie at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well whatever I had earlier that I thought was the stomach flu that was going around was not it because I have it now. In fact I have had it since Tuesday. It's a real nasty booger and just won't let up. Tonight is the first time all week, since getting sick, that I have felt like even sitting at the computer. I have been drained, dizzy and all the crappy stuff that goes with intestinal flu. I am not even sure I will be okay tomorrow to get to go the WW meeting and get all the new info and books. I was so looking forward to that. I am really tired of getting sick.

Posted by Annie at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I got my closet cleaned out yesterday. I even had a little help doing it (see picture). I'm now able to fit everything in my closet without my clothes being so crowded that I can't move them. I have been putting a lot more time in how I look these days. I think it's the new attitude and feeling the depression lifted finally. I have got new jewelry, nothing fancy...just cool bead sets and stuff that I feel nice in.
Before when I was loosing weight I had this same attitude...one of caring about myself and how I looked. Also caring about my health and how I feel....actually even more so that anything else. I guess that is what it is all about....caring about myself enough to make the changes. I am thankful to be out of the fog I have been in for a while.

Short post for now but I need to get some sleep. That is also important on how I feel and my health.

Posted by Annie at 12:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today was my weigh in day. I lost 2.5 pounds. I was very pleased with that. I got a few hours of shopping which was quiet a bit of walking around. Not at a pace I would want for my exercise but at least it was something and along with some housework today. I got some grocery shopping done too so that I can cook a couple healthy meals tomorrow. I'm really going to push to try to do that a lot. It's been a long day and I'm very tired right now. So I am going to bed and will post more soon.

Posted by Annie at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

It's almost been a year since I started this site...12/18 will mark the date for the year. There are a few post from before that which where on blogger and I moved them over to this one. I haven't made the progress this year that I hoped for but I didn't throw in the towel either. I kept going even though some times it was really hard to do so. I tried different things. Went back to WW as it has worked the best for me. I am OP and journaling, being mindful of what I am doing. I need to get back to regular exercise and that will be something I will be working on strongly right now.

On the exercise front I am trying to decide if I should keep my Curves membership. I go for a while and then stop with it. I don't feel the passion for working out there that I once did. I know the weight lifting exercises are good for me to do. However I dread changing clothes so much in the winter time cause I get chilled so easy....I just don't like the cold at all. Am I just making excuses...do I need a good kick in the ***? I think I need to give it one more try, push myself to go, pack bag the night before since that is another thing that stops me going as I get rushed in the mornings and don't pack my gym bag. Do it for at least a month and then rethink it at that point...see how I feel and all.

Posted by Annie at 12:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm feeling much better, very little lingering effects left from the nasty cold I had. I had wanted to post most of this week but stuff kept happening.

Monday started out with my birthday and turning the big four O. None of my other birthdays have really bothered me but this one I found depressing. I had a goal of reaching my 40th with myself being near or at my goal weight and my 40s being my best decade yet. Trying to look on the positive side of things I am still down from my beginning weight from 2002 of 316 pounds. I have kept off 38 of the 90+ pounds I lost and I am back on my way down again. My last weigh in was a maintain and I am sure this one is going to show a loss (unless PMS messes it up...I know right now my home scale shows 3 pounds gone). Another depressing thing about turning 40 was that both my parents died in their 60s and that just scares me big time. I want more than another 20 years.

We have had a stray cat hanging around for a couple of weeks and I had been feeding it. It was getting cold here so on the Monday evening I decided to take the cat to the vet. Get all the shots and a heath check up for it and adopt it since it had adopted me. Things didn't work as I wanted. The vet hurt the kitty with all the things that she needed to do (which began the freak out of the cat), being inside my house freaked it out more and my cat we have had for years finished off the job just being in the same house. Sebastian (our cat) didn't do anything...it's not that, in fact he just watched her from a distance since she was so strung out. Poor kitty (I called her Lucybell) would not calm down and spent two days in my house being in fear, hissing scratching. I couldn't even treat her for the ear infection she had so I finally gave in and took her to the humane society so they could treat her and hopefully find her a home with someone that can keep her outside (with shelter of course). I live in the city so there was no way I could have her outside. After I dropped her off I cried cause it broke my heart.

On top of all this I got back home to come down to a tummy bug that did me in for the rest of the night...or maybe it was just stress but either way it was no fun. Then last night I slept (from 7:30pm to this morning) to make up for all the sleep I have missed this last week. I am ready for things to calm down. I'm ready to feel a little holiday cheer. And I am ready to get back on what feels a more normal schedule with stuff.

Posted by Annie at 11:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

What a weekend. We got our new dryer to only find out that the way the old vent was set up could be a fire hazard. I called our landlady and let her know and she sent out someone to correct the issue so we were finally able to hook up and use the dryer tonight. Since I didn't realize they could fix the problem so quickly I had taken 3 loads of clothes to dry at the laundry mat. Baskets of wet clothes weigh a lot more than I thought. We got a lot done including shopping for the week. However I am spent....my back is having spasms and my feet are killing me. I hate to think of what this would have been like at 316 pounds. Just makes getting down to a normal body weight that much more of something I need to do.

At my weigh in this week I maintained my weight. I was happy with this since my eating was not OP with me being sick and not having as much control on my food as I normal do. And there was practically no exercise.

Posted by Annie at 10:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm finally starting to get over this cold some. Maybe by the beginning of next week I might feel something close to normal. I am looking forward to getting back my strength and being able to breathe normal so I can bust into working out. I really need to get started at my workouts again.

I did do a little cleaning last night. I have a new dryer coming tomorrow and I needed to be able to easily make a place for the delivery guys to bring it in. I still need to move a few of my large plants temporarily but will either do that tonight or in the morning. The old dryer has had it...it's thumping like some machine gone mad and I neither want to fix it or chance even using it. I will be doing several loads of clothes this weekend to catch up.

I look forward to getting to sleep in Sunday. I haven't been able to do that except for the couple of days of work I missed and even then I didn't sleep well and was waking up every hour.

Posted by Annie at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)