April 2007 Archives

Yesterday turned out to be a nice day. We didn't get the rain that was being called for. So I was able to get out and get in a walk. I had planned for it to be 30 minutes but ended up walking for 45. I was very happy to have the music with me because that really helped to keep me moving that last 10 minutes. Which on the route I took was up a steep incline. I know from before this hill will get to where it doesn't seem like such a big deal I am looking forward to that time.

I am not sure if I will get to walk today or not. We are suppose to get some nasty thunder storms. I actually like to listen to those as I find it relaxing as long as they aren't hitting too close to where I am. If we do get the storm I will have to figure out something else to do.

Oh by the way the scale this morning was finally starting to move down again. I am hopeful that I will have a good weigh in this week.

Yesterday was my DH's birthday. Since he couldn't think of anything he wanted for his birthday I got him an mp3 player like mine. He decided that he really liked it once he got to playing with it. I think he'll enjoy using when we are on flat trails that we do all the time. You can turn them down where you still hear the music but can talk too. I think music is a huge help to any exercise routine for me. It's very important to me that we keep doing our walks and with it happening some times in the very hot part of the day and with the sun beating down on us then music will make that seem better. I know it would have been nice to had yesterday for that long walk we took.

Another thing that would have been nice would have been thought to grabbed a good pair of my walking socks yesterday. I grabbed a pair of nike ones I had and they are just too big for me and I think that part of why the blister tried to start yesterday. Least that seems to have healed up and not be bothering me at all now. I am going to find some more good walking socks this year. This is one place I wish they didn't chance so much, soon as I find a kind I like they don't have them the next year....that's the reason I ended up with the nike ones that are just a tad too long on my feet.

More on a good side I have been walking every day since it warmed up. I am enjoying getting out so much. Even though todays walk was a bit warm...really needed some shade, it's going to be good once the trees have more leaves on them....oh and I did end up with the starting of blisters on my right foot because I walked for an hour today. I need to take it easier than that...build up a little bit at a time. I went straight from 15 minutes first day, to 30 yesterday to an hour. Least I didn't end up with a full blister and my foot already feels much better than it did after my walk.

I got the yard mowed Tuesday and made it without having to go get a hay bailer though I did have to open the part where it tosses out the grass for the back 1/3 of it because it was bogging it down so much it kept killing the mower over and over again....even with me going really slow. It felt much easier to push around this time than a couple weeks ago so that is good. I am looking forward to when I can do all of the back without getting tired.

It's been raining just a little the last couple of days. Was suppose to be thunderstorms but so far I am seeing only sprinkles. Hopefully starting tomorrow the weather will be better. I am really looking forward to start getting in a walk outdoors each day. Working my way up to being able to walk several hours at a time. Hopefully working my way up to hike a couple of steep trails that I want to do again. I think I will work on getting some tunes on my mp3 player.

I want to thank everyone who takes the time to leave comments. It's nice to know I am not talking to thin air or all bots going to my page. Hilly's post got me to thinking yesterday. Sometimes I worry that I am not interesting enough and that is why I don't get a lot of comments. It's old insecurities from my past that haunt me. A rough childhood in many ways. And it is that same childhood that I think caused some of my weight gain.

I grew up dirt poor which meant that I was easy pray for bullies and being picked on at school. The only time before I was an adult living on my own that I had new clothes was when my uncle bought some for my sister and me when I was in the 3rd grade. Everything else was hand me downs, toss outs or something my mother made me. Not that it's bad, I sure gained a lot of character through it...however it does make for standing out in school a bad way when your in the 80s and your clothes are rejects from the 70s that are way too brightly colored and made of polester....a vivid pair of green and purple pants come to mind *shudder*. Appearance in my family was not a priority or even close.

There is also the fact that we lived in a house that had no bathroom. It did have running water but it was only cold water. So it was a very long time before I had any friends over. My father was way over protective and never let me or my sister be involved in school functions of any kind. Plus I think there was the money issue with that too. I think it would have made a world of difference if I had grown up doing some kind of sports and being active with my friends.

I also think if we had more money we might have ate better. Our meals were normally one thing and we would eat a huge plate of what ever it was. Boxed mac and cheese, that frozen fried chicken in a box, potatoes, bread and gravy. Heck I though the school meals were great cause I got a choice. Being poor you are told to not waste and clean your plate and if you did leave food you got in trouble. It's took years to get past that one but I can leave food on my plate now.

There was the fact that for the first part of my youth I was very thin and my parents worried that I was too thin and tried to get me to eat constantly. Always telling me I needed to gain weight. Thing was I think I was a normal weight for a kid that was active. And even when I started to gain weight cause of hormones I was being told I needed meat on my bones. It's no wonder most of my family was over weight with these kind of perceptions.

I know there are people that grew up with it a lot worse than I did. And like I said I got some character from the whole deal but sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been. Would I have had such a problem with gaining weight. Would I have realized earlier what was going on. Would I still have that nagging little doubt about if people liked me or not. I like me....I guess that is what matters most.

Well that sucked. I can't blame anyone but myself. I have been eating just a little too much the last couple of days and not exercising like I should. The weather turned cold again and I shut down and stopped doing the stuff I was doing. I'm also moody and bloated feeling but it's the wrong time of the month for that so I am not sure what is causing it.

I'm sitting here watching SunRise Earth, greatest hits one, on Discovery HD and realizing how much I miss being at the beach. It's been a couple years since I have gone. Pretty much since my DH took on his current job and the project he's working on. He hasn't pushed to take vacation since....I really need for us to take a vacation this year.

I also need to get in better shape so I can enjoy a vacation. I really like getting to walk on the beach and since we normally go to a beach in NC we do the state park there too. Plenty of walking and a cool place to check out. One of my problems with getting in better shape right now is that I can't seem to stay motivated. The colder than normal weather is just messing with me. Plus I have been extra moody and feeling crappy. I need some warm weather and sunshine.

I need to try and clean up around the house tomorrow. That will probably help my mood a lot as I get depressed when my house is not in a clean and put together state. The worse it gets usually the worse I get in how I feel. The real problem with this is in being a full time worker and having to use my off time to clean everything. My DH wouldn't care how the place looks and therefore it falls on me to do the cleaning if I want it done for the most part.

Well I am going to go read some blog posts for today. I am actually caught up for a change...least that feels good.

I am so tired today. Pretty much all week I have not been getting enough sleep for how early I have to get up and go to work. It's really caught up with me today though as I fell asleep twice while my DH was talking to me. I don't normally fall asleep when anyone is talking to me. I plan on making an early night of it and going to bed soon as it gets dark.

I really need to get enough sleep so I am motivated to get to the gym and work out. I don't do well with going when I am this tired. My weight is not going to do a lot of moving down if I don't get my butt to moving and get in exercise each day. I know this very well. Most people need exercise to help them lose but I need it even more so because of the PCOS and how it has affected my metabolism. Plus if I don't exercise I will loose both fat and muscle and I can't afford to loose muscle...that just slows down my metabolism even more. I need to build muscle and working out at Curves does help me do that.

I put together a new book shelf for my office. It's has nice thick shelves and is one of the 6 foot jobs. I now have a place for all my cookbooks and work out DVDs with much room to grow. I had lost the place I kept them before when I rearranged the living room to make it have more room. I have two shelves worth of cookbooks....maybe a little over kill. I use to buy every one they had at the WW meetings, one of the reasons I have one of the shelves filled up. They do have good recipes in them though so it's not a bad thing.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. If you are in one of the places that got hit with the weird cold weather like I am I hope you are able to keep nice and warm and enjoy the rest of the weekend. You know the old saying "April showers bring May flowers"....I'm pretty sure that should be rain...maybe someone should tell Mother Nature.

Heart flutters seem to be gone today so I am happy about that. I have however had a horrible headache all day that even Advil didn't relieve. I think it was stress brought on from work. I didn't have it right when I first got to work. It came on as I got annoyed through out the day and seem to have gotten worse the more crap that happened. These days I rarely stress about work other than to wish I was working closer to home and had less of a drive, and while we are into wishing....worked half the hours for the same pay (about as likely as winning the lottery). I have pretty much fallen into accepting that my work is what it is at the moment.

It could also have came from not getting enough sleep due to DH and the kitty both waking me up several times last night. DH almost always comes to bed later than I do and well I am not sure what got into our cat last night but he was running through the house like a mad kitty and knocking stuff down. Now that might be normal for most cats but Sebastian is pretty lazy and he doesn't do a lot of running like that. But as far as the sleep thing...usually a nap will fix that and I have had two naps and I still have the headache. *sigh*

I also guess it could come from the weather change....30 degree drop from the weekend...it really sucks. I'll be in long sleeves tomorrow. Good thing I hadn't got my clothes switched around in my closet yet. But I do need to put out all the spring stuff and pack away the long sleeves soon.

Lunch today was very healthy. A co-worker and I did avocado pitas...they were very good. I have got him to using fitday too and he seems to really like it. He will be a new daddy soon so he really wants to loose down a few pounds and have more energy. I am sure his wife will be glad to have him full of energy since a new baby will take it.

Time to get so sleep. I really need to work on getting better and enough sleep. I seem to have really got out of the habit this last weekend because of having so much to do.

I'm feeling tired today. The little heart flutter feeling is back and I hope it goes away soon. Once I get off work I will go home and get a short nap to see if that helps me to feel some better. Hopefully it will and maybe my DH and I can get a walk in this evening.

The weather is getting ready to turn cold again for the week. I will be glad once this passes because I was enjoying the warm weather so much. I got my herbs planted in the little mini greenhouses and I am looking forward to them sprouting and getting them planted outside.