I want to thank everyone who takes the time to leave comments. It's nice to know I am not talking to thin air or all bots going to my page. Hilly's post got me to thinking yesterday. Sometimes I worry that I am not interesting enough and that is why I don't get a lot of comments. It's old insecurities from my past that haunt me. A rough childhood in many ways. And it is that same childhood that I think caused some of my weight gain.

I grew up dirt poor which meant that I was easy pray for bullies and being picked on at school. The only time before I was an adult living on my own that I had new clothes was when my uncle bought some for my sister and me when I was in the 3rd grade. Everything else was hand me downs, toss outs or something my mother made me. Not that it's bad, I sure gained a lot of character through it...however it does make for standing out in school a bad way when your in the 80s and your clothes are rejects from the 70s that are way too brightly colored and made of polester....a vivid pair of green and purple pants come to mind *shudder*. Appearance in my family was not a priority or even close.

There is also the fact that we lived in a house that had no bathroom. It did have running water but it was only cold water. So it was a very long time before I had any friends over. My father was way over protective and never let me or my sister be involved in school functions of any kind. Plus I think there was the money issue with that too. I think it would have made a world of difference if I had grown up doing some kind of sports and being active with my friends.

I also think if we had more money we might have ate better. Our meals were normally one thing and we would eat a huge plate of what ever it was. Boxed mac and cheese, that frozen fried chicken in a box, potatoes, bread and gravy. Heck I though the school meals were great cause I got a choice. Being poor you are told to not waste and clean your plate and if you did leave food you got in trouble. It's took years to get past that one but I can leave food on my plate now.

There was the fact that for the first part of my youth I was very thin and my parents worried that I was too thin and tried to get me to eat constantly. Always telling me I needed to gain weight. Thing was I think I was a normal weight for a kid that was active. And even when I started to gain weight cause of hormones I was being told I needed meat on my bones. It's no wonder most of my family was over weight with these kind of perceptions.

I know there are people that grew up with it a lot worse than I did. And like I said I got some character from the whole deal but sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been. Would I have had such a problem with gaining weight. Would I have realized earlier what was going on. Would I still have that nagging little doubt about if people liked me or not. I like me....I guess that is what matters most.